And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
