John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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