I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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