i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize