Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
