Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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