rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
