everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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