Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
