this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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