he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Alive.
So much puke
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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