TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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