Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
