Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
