nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
