She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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