Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize