Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
