Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
