Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
