The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
