i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
