I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
