His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
my poor anus
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
