you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
