Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
