Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
