You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
