Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
