2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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