Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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