ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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