just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
