we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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