My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
