I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
