beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
