He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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