So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
