there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
