Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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