she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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