She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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