please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
