Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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