i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
