and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
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