He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize