you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
