I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
