Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
