I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
