No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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