very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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