worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
