member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
