im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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