is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize